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By Shola Morgan
Marianne Fernandez (not her real name) was confident she had her future mapped out. After a successful internship, she was all but guaranteed a job offer from a top company as a Junior Strategic Planner right after graduation. She had poured all her energy into this path, spending late nights working toward a future she had carefully constructed in her mind. But then the unthinkable happened—the company restructured, and the role disappeared. Marianne was left with nothing but a void where her dream had been.
In her grief and frustration, she decided to pack her bags and travel. She convinced herself that this new adventure would help her move on, filling the space left by her vanished career aspirations. “I need to invest my energy somewhere else,” she told herself, “Travel will fix this.”
But here’s the catch: Marianne’s decision was driven entirely by emotion. She was reacting to the loss of something she had invested all her hopes in, and in doing so, she made a decision that wasn’t fully thought through. Emotional led decisions like this—where we let our feelings guide our choices—can often lead us further away from what’s best for our well-being. This is especially true when it comes to the emotional investments we make.
Emotional Investments: What Are They?
When we talk about emotional investments, we’re referring to the time, energy, and emotional capital we put into people, goals, and activities. These investments aren’t as tangible as financial ones, but they’re just as important. The relationships we build, the career paths we choose, the friendships we nurture—all these are areas where we invest our emotions.
But just like in financial markets, emotional investments come with risks. If we place too much emotional capital in one place—whether it’s a friendship group, a romantic relationship, or a career goal—we become vulnerable to emotional collapse if things don’t go as planned. And that’s where emotional led decision-making can be dangerous.
The Dangers of Making Emotional Investment Decisions with Our Emotions
When Marianne lost the job offer, she didn’t take the time to pause and assess the situation. Instead, she reacted emotionally, choosing to travel because it felt like an escape. But just like in financial investing, knee-jerk reactions can lead to more problems than they solve.
Here’s why emotional led decision-making can be risky:
1. Lack of Perspective:
When we make decisions based on emotion, we often lose sight of the bigger picture. Marianne’s immediate response to losing her job offer was to replace that investment with something else—travel—without considering if that was truly what she needed for her well-being. She didn’t explore other career opportunities or consider diversifying her emotional investments.
2. Over-Investment in One Area:
Marianne’s story highlights the problem of over-investing in one area. She had placed all her emotional energy into her career, and when that collapsed, she had nothing to fall back on. Emotional decision-making often leads us to over-invest in one place, whether it’s a friendship, a relationship, or a goal. If that investment doesn’t pay off, the emotional fallout can be devastating.
3. Unintended Consequences:
Emotional decisions can have unintended consequences. For Marianne, traveling seemed like a quick fix, but it didn’t address the underlying issue—her emotional over-reliance on her career. Similarly, if we invest too much emotionally in one friendship or relationship, we might end up neglecting other important areas of our lives, leading to further emotional imbalance.
What Financial Markets Teach Us About Emotional Investments
In the world of finance, we’re taught to spread our investments across different assets to mitigate risk. This same principle applies to emotional investments. By diversifying where we invest our emotional energy—across different friendships, hobbies, goals, and relationships—we protect ourselves from the emotional collapse that happens when one area of our lives doesn’t go as planned.
Financial advisors often talk about risk management—understanding how much risk you’re taking on and preparing for the possibility that things might not work out. The same goes for emotional investments. We need to recognize that everything we invest in—whether it’s a relationship, a friendship group, or a career goal—comes with risks. By diversifying our emotional investments, we reduce the impact of those risks on our well-being.
How to Make Better Emotional Investment Decisions
Here are some ways to avoid the pitfalls of emotional decision-making:
1. Take Time to Reflect:
Before making any big decisions, take time to reflect on your emotional state. Are you making this choice because you’re feeling hurt, angry, or scared? If so, it’s important to pause and give yourself space to process those feelings before acting.
2. Diversify Your Emotional Capital:
Don’t put all your emotional energy into one area of your life. Spread your emotional investments across different friendships, hobbies, and goals. This way, if one area doesn’t work out, you’ll still have other sources of emotional support to lean on.
3. Plan for the Unexpected:
Just like financial investors plan for market volatility, we need to plan for the possibility that things might not go as expected. Ask yourself, What will I do if this relationship ends? What happens if my career plan changes? Preparing for these possibilities can help you avoid emotional collapse when things don’t go as planned.
Final Thoughts: Avoiding the Emotional Collapse
Marianne’s decision to invest in traveling after losing her job offer was a reaction driven by emotion. While it may have provided temporary relief, it didn’t address the deeper issue of over-investment in one area of her life. To avoid emotional collapse, it’s essential to diversify our emotional investments—just like we would with financial investments. By spreading our emotional capital across different areas of life, we build emotional resilience and protect ourselves from the inevitable changes that come our way.
Remember, the key to emotional well-being is balance. Don’t let emotions drive your decisions—give yourself the time and space to think things through and make thoughtful investments in your relationships, goals, and future.
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